The Three
Keys to Overcoming Stress
What is stress?
Is it a big presentation at
work?
Is it a conflict with a
spouse?
Is it financial challenges and
concerns?
Is it an expanding
waistline?
We all have a certain amount of
stress in our lives.
The dictionary defines ‘stress’ as
the emotional and physical way in which we respond to
pressure. Stress can indeed cause both mental and physical symptoms,
though the effects of stress are different for different people.
We have two general types of stress: One
kind destroys health and happiness, and the other enhances health and
happiness. For the sake of clarity, I will refer to unhappy stress as stress, and happy stress as stress.
Speaking neutrally, stress is that
force from outside of us that creates the effect of change. It can be
gravity, a gentle loving caress, a cold day or a hot day, a cold date or a hot
date, a cold drink or a hot drink. Anything
that creates the effect of change is stress. So, is stress good, or
bad?
Stress is always, always, good…if we let it be good.
There is an old saying that goes,
“If it is to be, it is up to me.” Even God cannot make you like something
you choose not to like. And if you don’t like it, it is stressful.
But if you do like it, it is stressful.
So if the negative qualities of stress are not inherent in an
event, but are created by our judgment of an event, how do we learn to use our
judgment to transform all stress into stress?
Can we really do this? Can we
really make any situation be stressful, in the happy
way?
Here are three steps to making stress
your reality:
First, we have to recognize
our values, what is really most important to us in life. Start by
identifying your top seven priorities in life.
Second, prioritize those
priorities in accordance to your inner values. For example, if I realize
that my top seven priorities in life are my waist size, iPod music selection,
shoes, clear skin void of facial acne, Facebook hits, handwashing, and how many
donuts I get to eat in a day—this is a potentially conflicting set of
values. Facial acne, donuts and waistlines are not a congruent set of
values: If I eat donuts, my waistline will become a waste line. If I eat donuts, my skin will likely break out, and
facial acne will be my accomplishment rather than what I avoided. My life is
going to be stressful one way or the other.
Finally, live your life
according to your values. If you are correct in establishing your values
and you live them, than you will not have stress…unless
your values need to be changed.
So to review: Determine your
values, prioritize your values, and then live by your values. Any time you
feel stress it is because you are violating your values, or the stress is directing you to redefine your values.
See how easy it is to get rid of stress?
Have a blessed month,
Dr. O.
